Wednesday 30th October - The Reds 5-5 Arsenal (5-4 on pens)
The Cara-banter Cup. Seriously, what have I just witnessed?! The most gloriously shite 90 minutes of my 28 year old life probably. Both teams were so so bad, I've been using an online thesaurus for alternatives to the word 'shite' in order to avoid saying 'shite' 700 times. Amazingly ridiculous game of football. At least I think it was football.
I suppose that's the sort of game you get when there's 22 changes combined. I can't figure out what I'd like us to do in this cup. I'd like to win it, but at the same time the experience the kids are getting is huge for them in the long term. What a moment for Curtis Jones, scouser, winning penalty in front of the Kop, proper stuff of dreams. I was a bit surprised he didn't start, Jurgen obviously wanted a bit more experience in the midfield to calm it down and help see the kids through. That went well. Lallana and Keita were absolutely horrendous. Keita especially. I'm sorry but I am rapidly losing patience. We waited a year for this bloke, gave him Stevie Gerrard's shirt, and forked out 53 million quid for him. Where is this nasty fucker who got sent off every other week in Germany? I've never seen him make a tackle. He's so timid and fragile. Looks like he's picked up yet another niggle, but I wouldn't be surprised if he was just embarrassed that he was getting the run around off a couple of Arsenal reserves. I fear for Naby a bit now, I was convinced he'd come good but there is absolutely no chance he's in our best XI. Needs a run of games but I just don't see how he gets them currently.
The goals we gave away were laughable. You know its the Mickey Mouse cup when Jimmy Milner starts sticking their striker through on goal with a underhit backpass. Just so soft and sloppy, nobody could pass 5 yards. Both sides must have given the ball away 50+ times under pretty much zero pressure. Their first goal is offside, the second is awful from Origi, the third is a blind pass from young Elliott, the fourth is a shocking back pass and the fifth is a worldie, but we've still let him run 30 yards without anyone so much as breathing on him. I can't be too critical of any of the kids, there's a lot of ability in there and in Elliott I'm convinced we've got a potential superstar on our hands. Glides around the pitch, lovely balance and technique about him. Got a lot to learn obviously, but for a 16 year old he oozes class and definitely has a little bit of arrogance about him. Just look at that rascal haircut, you've got to have a set of stones to walk around thinking you're the man with a top knot. The only fear I have for him is that he has a year out to 'find himself' and goes backpacking in Australia.
I don't tend to talk too much about the opposition on here, but Arsenal really are the gift that keeps on giving. Absolutely hilarious club. Why Emery took Ozil off I will never know, he was taking the absolute piss at times. Only Ozil could register an assist with a Cruyff turn. Looked the only real class player on the pitch and gets hooked after an hour, bizarre. I reckon we could have been 6-0 down with 5 minutes left and we'd have probably still taken it to penalties. The most mentally weak squad of players you could ever find. I've been wanting to write something about what happened with Granit Xhaka at the weekend, because I have a lot of sympathy for him. Shite player don't get me wrong, but who in this world would enjoy being booed and heckled by 60,000 people? Football fans are so hypocritical at times. Players get called every name under the sun and people are whining when someone has the audacity to give a bit back? Good on him I say.
Anyway, we're into the quarter finals. It'll be interesting to see what sort of side we put out were we to draw a City or United, especially away from home. Its a big ask for some of these lads to go and play away from home in a big game, but Klopp is pretty loyal and it wouldn't surprise me to see us field this XI throughout the competition, however far we go. A trophy is a trophy but let's be honest, we've got far greater priorities. I feel like everything is building up towards that City game in a few weeks time, it's going to be monumental. Winning that game would put us in the best position we've ever been in to finally win this Premier league title, and maybe we should be treating this Cup as something of a bonus. If it gives us more evenings like this one, I'm all for it. Imagine turning up to Old Trafford with a bunch of pre-pubescent kids and turning them over. Next up is Villa away, potentially a tricky game but the big boys will be back and it should be fun. In the meantime, up the teenage Reds!
Ratings.
The Milky Bar Kid - Set the tone for the evening when he started dribbling outside his box and taking the piss for no apparent reason. Even started saving things that were going 4 yards wide so they could have another fucking tap in. Will be knackered in his P.E lessons tomorrow. 5.
Some Welsh Lad - I'll be honest, I didn't even know we had a player called Neco Williams. Sounds like an Aldi own brand television. Probably wasn't the worst player on the pitch. That's about all I can say. Looked like someone who had never played for us before. Only 14. Work experience will help him massively. 5.
Gomez - I was delighted to see him in the team and not Lovren. He then decided to play like Lovren and Martin Skrtel combined. Dreadful. Which means more Lovren for me to watch in the next 6 weeks. Joyous. 5.
Ginger Van Dijk - Played more like Dick Van Dyke at times but also looked quite composed on the ball. Had after school detention so it was understandable he took a while to settle in to it. 5.
Milly - Joined in with the banter by making his first mistake since he was the same age as the rest of the back four. Good for Robbo to get a rest. Other than the backpass, he was fine. Unreal from 12 yards isn't he? 6.
Lallana - This holding midfielder experiment needs to be culled. Why does he have to control everything, even a simple 5 yard pass, by doing a Cruyff turn? People jogged past him far too easily, and he gave it away far too much. Scored his pen though. 5.
Keita - I thought he was embarrassing. Really really bad. Looks like a frightened little kid out there who has absolutely no trust in his body. Did nothing but lose the ball, fell over constantly, just a desperate performance. 3.
The Ox - What a thunderbastard that was. His role this season is to do absolutely nothing positive for long periods, then smash one in the top corner. Would have liked to have seen an Adebayor type celebration in front of their mob, but the lad is the nicest bloke on the planet. 6.
Messi With a Top Knot - One really shit pass for their 3rd goal, other than that he was bright again. Does well for the penalty. You can just tell he's a player, everything he does is really pleasing on the eye. Other than the haircut, which I'm really struggling with. Hope Jurgen takes a pair of scissors to it in the dressing room. 6.
Divock - The most archetypal Origi performance of all time. Falls over, doesn't bother tackling Bellerin, falls over again, chases his touch, falls over, scores a worldie, shins in an overhead bicycle kick thing to make it 5 all. Its Divocks world and we are all just living in it. 7.
Brewster - Raw. Absolutely rapid isn't he? Definitely something about the kid but it's just not quite happening for him in front of goal. Seems a nice lad and popular in the dressing room, I reckon he's hiding people boots and pissing them all right off. Looks the type. 6.
Subs
Jones - Came on and he wasn't Naby Keita, which was enough for me already. Then sets up Origi and smashes the winning pen off Casper the friendly post. MOM. 8.
Chirivella - Pretty sure we brought him on just to stick 2 fingers up to the EFL. How dare you try to ban us, we're Liverpool and we'll play whoever we fucking like. 5.
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